There’s really no easy way to say it. But the time is here, I think you know what time of year I’m talking about. The day we receive presents that cause our brains to do the quick inventory of what face your making, how to control the look of disgust, how to say thanks without sounding too over the top that they know its fake, or on the other end…not enough so now you’re forced to say the rest of the day, “No really, I love it…I swear I didn’t react because I was just TOO happy…you KNOW how much I love fluorescent green pearl encrusted knit booty gym shorts, they’re really my passion in life, THANK YOU!”Nobody wins in that situation. Except maybe the retailer if they didn’t give you a gift receipt and for the life of you, you can’t figure out where it came from. So what to do? I can honestly say I will be no help to you in terms of how to react; my face is known for having a voice all its own. I can, however, divulge in a few suggestion for what to do with it the next day.
1) EBay…someone somewhere in the world is bound to have a need for it. Maybe make sure your friend doesn’t know your username. Or just make a new one.
2) Google…maybe you can find the retailer? Buy yourself the matching tank top? Dive in head first…maybe lime green really is your color and she was just trying to show you. A true friend that one, pushing your boundaries like that…
3) Burn it. Safely of course. I recommend low sulfur charcoal.
4) And my personal favorite…add their name to the revenge list to make sure and find something equally hideous for next year. Maybe you have another present as awe inspiring as this one, lying around from last year that you can quickly swap for the one sitting in front of them.
Other than that, the best I can say is….good luck and Happy Holidays!
Text Corinna Fabre
